ON THE LEVEL

Here we go again. Celtic demolished Dundee Utd on Sunday, but all our media has to say about it is that DU were pish. It was no big deal, men against boys, a wide gulf in class etc. etc. They're scared to give Ronny Deila credit for anything at the moment; it wouldn't fit the agenda. Anybody watching the match would have noticed that Kris Commons played from the start, scored two and, when he was substituted, he and Ronny exchanged a few friendly words. Obviously last Thursday's episode has been forgiven and forgotten. That scenario, however, doesn't suit our media's agenda. They need a 'crisis' at Celtic and, by God, they're determined to have one.

Warbie's Wonders, meanwhile, played St. Mirren, who currently sit seventh in the Championship, a good 23 points off the pace. Sevco huffed and puffed and managed to win 1-0, with the usual bit of help from the man in the middle, who denied St. Mirren a stonewall penalty. This match, however, is being touted as a major triumph; the old clichés about 'grinding out results' have been well to the fore. Anybody would think that our sports journalists were biased or something!

There has to be a reason why they're trying to stir things to make it look like there's major trouble at Celtic Park, while building Warbie and his team up to the heavens; they're even reporting that Wes Foderingham will be playing for England. It's obvious that there's some agenda at work here, and it was good, old Keith Jackson that let the cat out of the bag.

Jackson was at pains to point out on Twitter at the weekend that he's fed up hearing about how he's just regurgitating Level 5 spin. You can read all about it on The Clumpany's blog. Suffice it to say that his protestations of innocence were roundly mocked. As if to prove his point, he yesterday published an article in the Record, whose headline demands that "it's time for Dave King to reveal his long-term financial plans for the club". As the kids in my classes used to say, Ooooh, scary biscuits! Keefy's ready to show us all that he's actually got a pair of gonads! Unfortunately, the article itself proves otherwise.

It's obvious from the piece that Jackson has come to praise Honest Dave, not to bury him. A few choice phrases stand out.

"brought a measure of calm back to a boardroom which had been ravaged by unrelenting scandal."

"liberating their football club. Freeing it from the clutches of those who had done it so much harm and caused it so much shame."

"A great deal of good work has been done."

"indicative of a club which is being nurtured, healed and regrown from the inside."

But there's a problem; King has left some questions unanswered "And into this vacuum all manner of malicious and ill informed gossip is slowly being poured." I take it Jackson is better informed; well, as far as you can call a Level 5 handout 'information'. So that's what Jackson's really concerned about; people making up bad stories about Sevco. No doubt Honest Dave will be 'jetting in' soon to put the record straight. Somebody on Twitter had the same idea as me and asked Jackson when his exclusive interview with King is going to be.

King might not even have to 'jet in' as Jackson has already answered his own question:

"Of course, to cut them some slack, King and his directors are also having to deal with the extraordinary circumstances which are about to be played out in Edinburgh’s Court of Session, where the bogeymen of this club’s recent history will soon gather together again for the trial of the century.
It could well be because of these proceedings that King’s plans have had to be stalled because, for as long as this case remains active, there is not the slightest hope of the club raising funds from offering new shares to the market. Which is why more loans from current directors will be required as working capital to keep the club ticking over at some point in the New Year, bridging the gap until the next wave of season ticket money starts washing into the bank account."

No mention at all about the lack of transparency, how much Warburton's Brentford Gang is costing, how the situation is going with Ashley and, most importantly, how the hell they're going to offer new shares when they've been delisted and have no Nomad or any sign of getting one. Despite Jackson's seemingly confrontational headline, his article is just another cheerleading exercise to make The Peeppul feel good. That and the supposed 'crisis at Celtic'. There might not be any transparency at Ibrox, but it's easy to see right through Jackson and the Daily Record's agenda.

Remember to get your thinking caps on for my book competition. As I've said before, don't go looking for the answer; use your head. All I want you to do is tell me what my qualification 'F.H.S.I.B.' means. Send your answer to andersonpat43@gmail.com. You've got until Sunday and the winner gets a free paperback copy of my new novel, 'Catalyst'. Come on Monti - a free book!

"The deflector shields are already running at Level 5. They canna take much more, Cap'n!"