REMEMBER REMEMBER

I see the Daily Record are allowing comments on some of their stories and, as before, the bigots are straight in there. It's a toe-dipping exercise but there's no disguising the bile behind the stuff they're posting. The first thing to get them riled was the Glasgow Green fireworks display being moved to November 4th because Celtic have a European tie at home on the 5th. Cue outrage.

"Should never have been allowed to change the date as it is one of many things that is important to teach future generations about traditions and history so that a bunch of over payed guys can kick a ball about a field that in not important to history how lovely."

You can always tell a Hun or Hunnette by the way they always bang on about 'traditions' and 'history'. I think we can all guess what traditions and history this particular clown is on about: it begins with 'N' and ends in 'o Popery'! A fine, upstanding tradition to pass on to the weans, I'm sure. Strangely, these are the same people (or Peeppul) that want to do away with other traditions that your average, Scottish wean has enjoyed since time immemorial.

When I first started teaching we used to have Halloween parties at school, playing music like Ghostbusters and The Monster Mash. The kids would get dressed up and have a great time. As time went on, though, there were more and more greeting-faced, Protestant fundamentalists shouting about paganism. You'd be amazed at how many of these folk there are. Their kids aren't allowed to go out guisin' or see Harry Potter films. Of course, their whining meant that schools had to end up ignoring Halloween altogether. The killjoys are quite happy, however, to let everybody else believe the usual crap about 'Political Correctness' instead of confessing that they're to blame. Now let's see; which one would a child rather do - go out guisin' and have a Halloween party at school, or watch some coloured bangs go off in the sky? So they know what they can do with their precious Guy Fawkes Night!

Meanwhile, the ned's ned, Barry Ferguson is bleating about the rumour about Derek McInnes leaving Aberdeen. Folk started putting bets on and Ladbrokes reacted by making him the favourite to be first out the door in the Premiership. It's not the first time people have believed a daft story and acted upon it; according to Oor Barry, though, it was all done with malicious intent. He says, "So no wonder Derek and the Dons are livid. They’ll be worried it may unsettle them at a crucial time in the season – and I don’t think that’s an overreaction."

Laughably, Wee Baz also says, "There is an old-fashioned accountability about newspapers that does not exist now with anonymous people hiding behind their computers." It's the way he tells 'em! And as for deliberately attempting to unsettle a team, what about Barry and his cronies in the papers, trying desperately to unsettle Hibs by lying about Scott Allan? That's what helped Sevco win against Hibs in the Petrofac Cup, Barry! Barry? Barry?

Of course, the real reason Oor Baz doesn't subscribe to Twitter has got nothing to do with malicious rumours or anything. It's more to do with the fact that, unlike his articles in the Daily Record, there's nobody on Twitter to write things down for him.

And, as more moochers climb aboard the gravy train, our media is telling us how it's a big 'recruitment drive' at Sevco. The new passenger is a wee, baldy man (are they allergic to hair at Ibrox?) called Frank McParland, the man that 'helped develop' Raheem Sterling. The guy was at Liverpool for many years before being sacked as he was surplus to requirements. He then wound up at Brentford, who also got rid of him and was at Burnley when Warbie 'swooped'. To be honest, there's not much to find out about this guy as he has achieved very little, apart from when he 'helped develop' Raheem Sterling. Unfortunately for McParland, they didn't put too much stock in his 'helping hand' down Anfield way, otherwise they wouldn't have sacked him. So the new 'Head of Recruitment' is just another one on the payroll, although the Level 5 spin would have us believe that he's another piece in the jigsaw that will result in Sevco being the first ever club to win the World Cup. Did I mention that he 'helped develop' Raheem Sterling?

The Big Trial has got underway in Edinburgh and even before anyone's in the dock there's enough already to get The Peeppul riled. The document outlining the charges against the Sevco Six says, "Whyte, Whitehouse, Clark and Green conspired to acquire “de facto control and ownership” of Rangers’ business and assets through the administration of the club." Oh dear. If the club went into administration, then that means it's the club that was liquidated. This is the High Court in Edinburgh too; none of your judges working for a bit of pin money or dodgy, EBT-indebted SFA officials here!

Also in the document are details of the money being raised from Ticketus under alleged false pretences. This money was handed over to the Bank of Scotland; something that always gives me pause for thought. I thought it was illegal to benefit from the proceeds of crime. So if Craigy is found guilty on this particular charge, shouldn't that mean that the BoS hands back the money to Ticketus? I won't hold my breath on that one!

I didn't see Question Time the other night but I've read online about the ex-Tory-voting woman ripping into Amber Rudd. Now, apparently, she's all for voting for Corbyn's Labour Party. If I were Corbyn, I'd be writing her a letter giving her the same message that Imran Ahmad gave to the Daily Record. This woman was quite content to see thousands, if not millions, of others suffer under the Tories, but starts to bleat when it happens to her. That's the kind of selfish bastard that I can't stand and it's because of her type that the UK is in the state that it is. So, hell mend ye, missus!

Staying with politics, I notice that we're being bombarded with a load of shite constantly in the press just now about the Suffragettes; mainly because there's some film out about them. While other women worked quietly for charities and on council committees, building up the case for female suffrage, these harridans were out causing trouble and pretty much proving the point that women couldn't vote because they were too emotionally unstable. The Suffragettes actually stopped women from getting the vote before the First World War with their antics.

There's another point to remember as well. These women weren't democrats by any means. At a time when the majority of men didn't have the vote, these women were campaigning for their own kind; namely, upper-class and middle-class women. Even within that narrow framework, it was others that laid the groundwork; all the Pankhursts and their followers did was hog the limelight. It's worth noting that Emmeline Pankhurst became a Tory candidate in the 1920s. So don't be deceived by this nonsense; these rich women achieved bugger all.

Finally, I've finished my latest book and have it all edited and ready. The only problem is that when I upload the thing the preview shows the book isn't formatted properly, no matter what I do. It's a bloody pest but I'll need to spend ages going back and forward to get it right. Sorry, Monti; I know you've been looking forward to buying it as well!

"Underneath the arches, I'll dream my dreams away..."