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Tuesday 17 March 2015

IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR THE IRISH

Happy St. Patrick's Day! It's a time when folk of Irish descent all over the world celebrate their heritage and people that are about as Irish as a beef teriyaki join in as well. It's seen as good fun and the Irish Tourism Board has cleverly used it recently to boost Ireland as a holiday destination all over the globe. Rivers are dyed green and buildings are lit up to make them look green; even the pyramids at Giza are turned green. As I say, it's all good fun except, of course, here in Scotland. I noticed a few complaints on some papers' comments sections about Edinburgh Castle, Prestwick Airport, Glasgow's Armadillo etc. being lit green. "Will they be lit orange on 12th July?" asks one bitter individual.

Others ask if buildings will be lit in different colours on other saints' days, especially that of St. Andrew. Well, as such people like to remind us, for centuries Scotland was a Protestant country and Protestants don't believe in saints. That's why there have been no celebrations of St. Andrew, St. George or St. David; such celebrations were seen as a Catholic thing. And that's part of the reason why there is so much bitterness toward St. Patrick's Day in Scotland; the rest of the world has moved on but a hard core of bigots in Scotland and Ulster still think we're living in the 16th Century. Fortunately such folk no longer hold sway in Scotland.

As for celebrating St. Andrew's Day, how are they going to do that? St. Patrick's Day has been celebrated for centuries, like the Feast of Santiago (St. James) in Spain, while 'Name Days', where you celebrate the feast of the saint you are named after, is popular all over the world. If folk want to celebrate St. Andrew's Day then they'll have to invent some way of celebrating it. Maybe they can invent some legends at the same time, such as St. Andrew driving the 'rats' out of Govan! In the meantime, why don't they stop trying to spoil everybody else's fun?

In much the same vein, our media seems determined to do all they can to tarnish Celtic's victory in the League Cup and the frightening possibility of the club winning a treble. Most of the negativity is focused on Scott Brown. The way it is being painted, Brown was out on the lash the whole day, cavorting with lap dancers, necking every alcoholic drink he could lay his hands on and ending the binge by sitting, pished out his gourd, on a kerb, eating a kebab and not knowing what day it was. In reality he was home and in bed by 10.30. No doubt Ronny gave him a rollocking and made him promise not to do it again. That's it. End of story. Nothing more to see. Not for our loyal agnivores, though!

It's pretty easy to detect what's behind all this. Remember a few years back when Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor were banned from the international team? A few players sneaked a couple of drinks before bedtime but, the story went, Ferguson and McGregor stayed up all night drinking and were still at it when everybody else came down for breakfast. They were dropped for the next Scotland game and, as you'll remember, reacted by making obscene gestures at the cameras. Their subsequent dismissal by George Burley caught our media unawares and, even though they made condemnatory noises toward the pair, the general consensus in our Fourth Estate was that Ferguson and McGregor were hard-done by.

Our agnivores always have trouble with their memories when it comes to matters like liquidation but things like punishments meted out to Rangers players are remembered vividly. They've waited a long time to seek revenge...I mean, balance things out...and they're making sure they don't waste the opportunity. They've even asked Gordon Strachan to comment, which, of course, he refused to do. All he would say was that he enforces a strict 'no bevvy' rule during internationals and that he's had no problems with the players. It seems that the agnivores in our press won't be happy until Brown is, at the very least, stripped of the Scotland captaincy. Stand by for telephoto lenses galore at Scotland's next training camp!

The Daily Record has finally got around to noticing the vile, illegal banner that was displayed at Ibrox on Saturday. According to them, however, it was all down to the repulsive, would-be letter bomber, Neil McKenzie, who was at the game although ostensibly banned for life. He must be like the guy out of the Fantastic Four with the big, rubbery arms that can stretch for miles, since that banner looked as if there were dozens holding it!

The banner itself is almost just mentioned in passing, with a quick acknowledgement that the words are from a banned song. Not a word, though, about the sinister-looking gunmen portrayed in the middle of the banner. Nor is it mentioned that a picture of the banner took pride of place on the Rangers (sic) website. The picture has disappeared from the website but it was there for at least 48 hours. Still, it's only banter and the Ibrox club is doing all it can to stamp out sectarianism and bigotry. And it's still nowhere near as bad as somebody eating a kebab!

If you're celebrating, have a good one. And if you want to help me celebrate my 'Name Day' click that pledge box over on the right and help me to get 'Fear and Smear' advertised!




St. Patrick, any chance of driving the agnivores and assorted snakes out of Scotland?




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