Tuesday, 16 June 2015


So that's it, McCall's arse is oot the windae and Sevco have a new manager. I promise - no bread jokes; scout's honour! Already the agnivores are in overdrive about how it's all going to be different now and Sevco are going to be 'back' in the top tier before we know it. It all seems pretty familiar; remember the 'Le Guen Revolution' that was going to steamroller all opposition? That worked out well, didn't it! They never learn. And already the new manager is looking to waste money by signing Danny Wilson. Why the hell he thinks the club needs the services of some crappy 80s band is beyond me!

Both Warburton and Weir have been banging on about 'value' and 'youth' (Davie Weir going on about 'youth'? WTF?) so I suppose they'll be trying to offload Kenny Miller. Oh, wait; Miller's got a two-year contract and you know how Sevco feel about honouring contracts! That's what's funny; no matter who they manage to get on board the circus train they're still stuck with all those losers drawing hefty salaries while they pick the skelfs out their arses. Never mind...whatever it takes, eh?

What happened to the vote count for the EGM? We were told that it would be announced today; what's keeping them? It's not as if they're having to count thousands of individual ballot papers or anything. Maybe it's bad news and they didn't want to cast a shadow on the news about their new manager. Then again, maybe they're counting every individual share certificate of the voters; I wouldn't put it past them.

Meanwhile, a couple of revolting stories in the DR, just to let us all know that they're still the lowest of the low. First up we have Keith Jackson going on about Martin O'Neill 'whinging'. Of course, O'Neill will be used to this approach to him in the Scottish media. If that had been Rangers playing Porto in Seville in 2003 we'd never have heard the end of it; but, because it was Celtic, Porto won fairly and squarely and O'Neill was a 'whinger'. Now, twelve years later, they're still at it. Have a read of Jackson's disgusting article here. O'Neill actually says nothing that any other manager clinging to a slim chance might say. According to Jackson, though, O'Neill is playing the victim. Even when O'Neill mentions the Georgia result, Jackson has an unfair dig, saying, "O’Neill even managed to moan about how he’s been hard done to by the Georgians." It's enough to turn your stomach.

The other story is all about Paul Gascoigne and his infamous imitation flute-playing exploit. He's saying that he received a death threat from the IRA and had to check under his car for bombs and board up his windows in case of shootings. And nobody noticed this? If this had really happened, the Daily Record would have had pictures of the boarded-up windows and would have been screaming to the high heavens about it. This alone suggests that the story is a load of utter pish. For another thing, I'm no expert but I don't remember the IRA ever issuing a death threat before killing somebody; they just did it. Everybody knew that the repulsive Ross McWhirter was making himself a target but I don't remember him receiving any threats beforehand.

The reason for this specious tale is all too clear; it was those evil Irish Republicans that drove Gascoigne to drink. It says in the article, "The 48-year-old now regrets trying to wind up the crowd at Parkhead by mimicking Orange walk marchers playing The Sash." From the context it's clear that Gascoigne is not sorry in the slightest for his sectarian antics; it's all about that IRA threat, which was about as real as his flute. He no doubt did receive some kind of threat, which the police investigated and probably found that it came from some angry bam in Glasgow. Immediately after telling us about this distressing period in Gascoigne's life, the DR goes on to say how Gascoigne "has battled mental health problems and alcoholism since hanging up his boots." The implication is clear: it's all the fault of the IRA. In a few years' time we'll be reading how the IRA drove Gascoigne to the bottle on Sevco forums, if they're still around, followed by the word 'FACT'.

The Sevco support isn't exactly known for being any kind of brains trust but sometimes, just sometimes, one individual emerges with more than one brain cell. That's how evolution works; he'll probably pass his brains onto his children and, within a couple of generations, the family will all be Celtic supporters. Away back in the primordial swamps all of our ancestors probably slithered about shouting "Wee arra peeppul!" Anyway, this particular individual, posting on Rangers (sic) Supporters Loyal, has noticed something in the small print of his season-ticket renewal form. Apparently, if you choose to give your bank details in order to pay in four instalments they're automatically going to use your bank details to renew your season book for 2016-17. This guy has actually worked out, all by himself, what the probable reason is for this. He imagines that it's a "way for Kingco to assume 2016/17 prospective/assumed income to demonstrate a viable business to prospective investors and/or the city for ISDX purposes e.g. “look all these supporters have signed up for the next two seasons”?" And you know what? He's probably right!

Finally, hands up if you were incensed about that story where the woman lied to swindle money from the state. She scammed benefits of £30,000 over four years. Shock! Horror! Meanwhile there's a big family of foreigners in London costing us millions upon millions every year. Isn't it about time our media started to highlight that bunch of chancers?

"I think we need to be clear that, despite what Mr King has said, we don't have a lot of dough to throw about. So we're not looking for prima donnas; just good players that want to earn an honest crust and want a slice of the action. We need to ensure we end up on top this season, not sandwiched between two other clubs. Hopefully, next May, we'll end up being the toast of the Championship!"

I know, I know. But come on...it's too hard to resist!


  1. Pat do you know if its true that Warburton has never played pro football and learned his manager skills playing computer games before he went to Brentford

  2. Is that not the perfect credentials for a sevco manager ? On champ manager you play with imaginary money, thats all he'll have at the broo camp