Behind Door 20 is a man that lived in Jabba's shadow and, sadly for him, still does. When he's not spouting Level 5 pish, he's got his tongue up 'Warbs's' arse to get rid of the taste of mint sauce. Unbelievably, or, perhaps, predictably, this character gets prizes for being Scotland's top sports Journalist. It just goes to show how poor the standard is. Presenting Mr. Radar, Keith Jackson.
After telling everybody that Craig Whyte was a billionaire with 'wealth off the radar', Jackson finally got round to looking on the internet and discovered what the rest of us had known for months: he wasn't. He gathered together a story about Whyte using advance ticket money from Ticketus to pay off Rangers' debt with the Bank of Scotland and, effectively buying Rangers in the process. His great 'exclusive', however, had to wait a few months until Jabba found out if he was getting a job at Rangers. Finally the story was printed and Jackson has never tired of telling us since that he was the one that 'exposed' Whyte.
When it came to the Big Lie, Jackson fell into line along with his boss to tell the world that Rangers hadn't died at all, even though his paper had announced the club's death on its front page. When he went to Australia, however, to speak at a conference about money in sport, he had to tone things down a bit. The Australians, understandably, weren't taking any shite and were quite adamant that if a club is liquidated then anything that comes after is a new club. Jackson squirmed in his seat; if he spouted the Big Lie he would have been laughed at by the whole Antipodes, whereas if he told the truth The Peeppul would be up in arms when he got home. The best he could manage was to laugh nervously and say that it was a contentious issue. It was a desperate attempt to distance himself from the charade, even though he's always been right in the thick of it.
On Twitter, Jackson is forever denying that he's in thrall to Level 5, even though his articles in the Daily Record make it obvious that he is. He wrote what could have easily been construed as a negative article about Sevco and King, asking when Honest Dave was going to put his hand in his pocket. Cue King appearing a couple of day's later to tell The Peeppul that all was well, the club only needed £2.5 million to see out the season and that this cash was readily available. It was obvious, then, that Jackson's article was only a thinly-disguised introduction to King's explanation. It was like some Tory backbencher asking a question as an opening for Cameron to spout some propaganda.
If Jackson isn't getting some kind of kickbacks from Level 5 then he's obviously cheating himself. Since the 'Real Rangers Men' returned we've heard nothing except how the club has been turned around and is no longer the 'basket case' it used to be. Rather than tell the truth about King, Keith would have us believe that he 'reached a settlement' with the South African courts. Meanwhile, Warburton is the greatest manager to ever turn up in Scotland; every club in England is after him, even though the two he's been linked with so far have denied any interest whatsoever. Checking the facts, however, is an alien concept to Keith; if the bookies say that Chelsea are interested in 'Warbs' then, of course, it must be true. Anybody with any modicum of journalistic skill would be questioning why the bookies keep installing Warburton as favourite for any vacancies down south. I suspect Level 5 send somebody round to slap a few tenners on him as soon as a vacancy is announced; such suspicions, however, tend to fly below Jackson's radar.
You'd think that after Jackson building Craig Whyte up so much and then 'exclusively' denouncing him, The Peeppul wouldn't trust him any more. They're a strange lot, though, The Peeppul; all they want to read is that everything's okay at their club, even if it's not. And so, Keith plods along, telling them what they want to hear. What thanks does he get? None whatsoever. If you read the comments of The Peeppul on Jackson's articles you'd think he did nothing but slag Sevco off, tell the truth about King being a crook and tell them to face up to the fact that Warburton is not the fantastic manager they all thought he was. And, yet, Keith keeps sucking up to them. It's actually quite sad to witness. Hopefully Jabba is making it worth his while.
Keith is also one of those that was spouting the 'Armageddon' line, when Sevco weren't allowed straight into the top tier. He still believes it and you'll read nothing positive about Scottish football in any of his articles. He's constantly banging on about the need for 'changes' while being pretty vague about what these changes should be. Apparently things will only improve when we have a thirty-six team top tier with 'Rangers' 'back' in the mix.
So why have I singled out Jackson when there's the likes of Chris Jack spouting the same pish, if not worse? Well, there's nothing sadder than somebody sucking up to the ones that hate him. I always remember kids getting picked on at school and yet they would always try to sook in with the ones bullying them, rather than seeking new friends among those that would be willing to accept them. Jackson's the same. If you read any comments or blogs by The Peeppul, they hate Jackson with a vengeance, marking him down, unjustly, as a 'Raynjurz Hatur'. And yet he still toes the Level 5 party line! He's a firm believer in the Big Lie, is willing to compromise his integrity by writing hagiographic praise of a convicted criminal and is quite happy to see the whole of Scottish football restructured for the sole benefit of one club. He's basically prostituting himself and, yet, gets no thanks for it. Still, he'll get the odd pat on the head from his old mentor, so it's not all bad!
"So I said to this Pat Anderson character, I said, look, I can't go recommending your books when you're writing lies about Rangers. Besides, Mr. Traynor hasn't told me what I think of them yet!"