Ay-oop lads! Behind Door 17 it's the man with the big Yorkshire hands, the main man of Sevco, the man who invented the Big Lie, the man...well, you already know who I'm talking about. It's Charles Green aka Chateau Charlie.
Remember those halcyon days in 2012 when Big Charlie was the hero of Govan, not to mention our media? I suppose we'd better be careful since a lot of what happened then is sub judice but there's nothing wrong in talking about what's staring us in the face. Charlie's plan for a CVA was doomed from the start; getting a couple of pennies in the pound isn't much better than being paid bugger all. If you're owed millions, you're only going to get thousands, which isn't much use if you're looking to invest elsewhere. If you're owed hundreds, you're not even going to get enough for a few pints. Much better to wind things up and see what the assets will bring. HMRC saw things that way and so, as The Peeppul tend to forget, did Dave King.
Unfortunately for the creditors, Charlie had first dibs on the assets and picked them up for a song. Now, this is the bit the court's concerned with so we won't go into the rights and wrongs of this purchase. Of much more interest to us is Charlie's subsequent claim that he had 'bought the club'. As was pointed out at the time, and many times since, if he had bought the club, then what was it that Duff and Phelps were trying to sell to that American guy, Miller, or the other guy, Ng? The whole thing falls apart at the least argument, but The Peeppul, and the media, were desperate and lapped it up.
Then, Charlie went to the SPL to look for his new club to be shoe-horned into the top tier; or, rather, he stormed in demanding it. He presented them with a booklet announcing, "We are Rangers." The simple answer should have been, "Naw yer no'. Now fuck off!" But, Scottish football being what it is, they actually gave him a hearing. As we all know, the football panjandrums, as well as the chairmen of all the top clubs, would have been perfectly happy to go along with Charlie's plan; it was the ordinary supporter that forced them into changing their minds. Charlie, of course, was outraged.
It was from that point that the victim mentality started at Ibrox, Charlie started shouting about how not letting his new club into the SPL was down to bigotry and envy. He found a ready audience among The Peeppul, who swallowed all this guff down along with the free cups of tea. Just to make sure that there was no doubt over what he was on about, Charlie took a wee trip to Belfast to recruit the real extremists to his cause. It looked as if he was determined to go to any lengths to get The Peeppul to buy season books and turn up at matches, believing that the new club was 'stull Raynjurz'.
Of course, there have always been those at Ibrox, and sometimes even at Celtic Park, who are not averse to using sectarianism to drum up business, but Green took things to a new level. With the man that claimed to now own 'Rangers' claiming publicly that there was a plot against 'Rangers', inspired by sectarian hatred, the bams now had free rein to indulge in all manner of bigotry. Green never came out and said it, but the meaning behind his claims were more than implicit: it was those fucking Fenians that were out to stop 'Rangers' progressing. Things were bad enough, but look at all the death threats that have been forthcoming since Green arrived; essentially, he was the one that was ultimately responsible.
Green is no longer a hero to The Peeppul; his chateau in France is testament to the fact that he didn't exactly walk away skint. He also left behind a legacy of onerous contracts, the most visible of which is Mike Ashley's hold on the merchandise profits. His deeper legacy, however, is the baseless feeling of bitterness prevalent among The Peeppul. They can't accept that the custodians of their old club, or of their new club, for that matter, are in any way responsible for everything that's happened and is happening. Instead, they've got it in their heads that they've been the victims of a massive conspiracy. Reading some of their blogs and their comments on forums is like peering into the mind of a psychotic. HMRC was infiltrated by Catholic Raynjurz-Haturz, as was the SFA, the SPL, the SFL and now the SPFL. They ignore the way everyone has bent over backwards to accommodate them, even talking now about extending the top tier, just in case Sevco fails to win promotion. They can't see these things; their heads are full of shite about how everybody's out to get them. It was Charlie Green that put that shite in their heads.
So, did Charlie Boy cheat The Peeppul? That's for the courts to decide. He certainly cheated the rest of us with the Big Lie, amazingly with the connivance of the rest of Scottish football. And it's still going on, with stories of Honest Dave sending 'friendly' letters to the chairmen of Scottish football teams and Stewart Milne in the papers telling us all to 'move on'. In fact, there's nothing the cheats at the top of Scottish football would like better than to get Sevco into the top tier and then pretend that the last few years never happened. This is all part of Charlie's legacy. Go onto a football forum, or Twitter, and tell the truth about Sevco and you're labelled a bigot. This is Charlie's legacy as well.
Another of Charlie's pronouncements was that he had 'bought the history' and that nobody was going to strip any of the tainted titles and trophies. Anyone that thought differently was a sectarian bigot. The Peeppul rallied round and, even though they all hate Green now with a vengeance, they still spout this shite. So we've now got a huge divide in Scottish football, between The Peeppul and those that run football on one side, all of us ordinary punters on the other. We don't even know if we can trust those that are in charge of our clubs to back us up. This is Charlie's legacy and I, for one, hope the judge throws the book at the bastard!
"I was just reading 'Clash of the Agnivores' and I got so angry that I ended up having apoplexy. So, here I am in hospital, recovering slowly. I'm telling you, that Pat Anderson is one nasty, little bigot. Don't touch any of his books, unless you want to be in here in the next bed. They're toxic. Boycott all of them. You'd be better putting your money into Sevco shares!"