SIDES

I was watching a film the other night, as I do while I'm typing my pish on here, and a thought struck me. The film was called 'Push.' It wasn't what you'd call great but I always like Science-Fiction films, especially when you're rooting for some underdog against a corrupt system. That's when it hit me: who do the Bisto Kids root for when they're watching a film? When they're watching Total Recall (the one with Big Arnie, not that new shite) are they on the side of Arnie and the rebels or the side of 'law and order'? Whereas normal people cry at the end of Old Yeller, do they cry at the end of The Exorcist, because the Catholic Priest has outwitted the demon? If the family is watching Avatar, are they all cheering on the crazed colonel, who wants to kill and destroy everything in his path? It might seem strange, but the mindset they always exhibit would suggest that they would be comfortable rooting for the baddies in movies! I'm sure you can think of other examples.

Keith Jackson, with breathtaking hypocrisy, points the finger of blame at Peter Lawwell for his throwaway line at the AGM. He also decides to have a go, for the purposes of balance, of course, at Charles Green for rabble-rousing. It's funny how he does this at this safe temporal distance, instead of pointing it out at the time! When Green was riling up the hordes with his battle cries, Jackson, along with everybody else, called the 'bluff, plain-spoken Yorkshireman' a 'breath of fresh air'! Of course, anyone that pointed to this hypocrisy had their post removed, as did anyone that had the gall to point out that nobody would have known what Lawwell had said if the papers hadn't been so keen to print it! Obviously, Padawan Jackson has learned much at the feet of his master, Jabba.

Of course, the Bisto Kids are up in arms. 'Look what happind tae Shoo Dallis 'n 'at!' they rave, ignoring the fact that Dallas's crime was to use company e-mail to send offensive material; a pursuit that will get you shown the door in any organisation. They also conveniently forget David Murray's comments in the 1990s, which were made with impunity. When challenged on this, McMurdo admits that Murray's statements were 'crass and arrogant.' I wonder, though, if he thought that at the time; or is it a case of, like Jackson, a temporal distance making such observations easier?

Auld Pishy, as you might expect, was told an entirely different way of looking at things by the worm at the bottom of the tequila bottle. Amazingly, he, or, rather, the tequila worm, claims that Lawwell was acting on behalf of the current Bisto Board! Apparently Lawwell is terrified of the Requisitioners taking over and ploughing money into Bisto FC (!) so he made his comment for two purposes. The first was to deflect from the story about Scott Gardiner. The second was to make the current board look good for making a statement decrying his remarks. And I'm not making this up; read Auld Pishy's blog for yourself and see!

Pishy also finds time to have a go at Graham Spiers, whom I thought he'd forgotten about. Spiers apparently said that Bisto FC is a new club, which prompts Pishy to accuse Spiers of being in the Flat Earth Society. Auld Pishy, of course, could never believe that the world is flat as he sees it constantly going round and round and round. I don't know about you but I'm going to miss the laughs that Auld Pishy supplies when his liver finally waves the white flag.

The Celtic AGM is still a hot topic on Merlin's blog, with contributors expressing the view that Celtic fans are 'obsessed' with Bisto FC. This coming from a crowd that are bombarding Glasgow City Council, the EU and even Historic Scotland with correspondence, desperately trying to uncover some imagined shady financial dealings at Celtic Park! They also leap on the 'living wage' proposal, which is rightly still being pursued. Realising that their own club also just pays minimum wage, one of the peeppill posting suggests that Bisto should seize the moral high ground by paying the living wage. Unfortunately, however, the majority of shareholders at Bisto FC probably could not care less about what employees are being paid; their main concern is what schools they went to!

Ever wonder how Bisto FC got the accounts signed off?