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Thursday 14 November 2013

THROWN A GOOGLY

All the Bisto Kids are up in arms with the return to the news of Barney Google (with the goo-goo-googely eyes). Coming hot on the heels of the story about Mr Blobby being linked to Barney Google is the news that the police are investigating a signature on a Sevco 5088 document, which a handwriting expert claims is a forgery.

True to their reputation for being thick, many of the Bisto Kids have been arguing on the Daily Record forum that the signature looks the same as Green's normal signature. Of course, they don't realise the implications of this. If the signature is genuinely that of Hughie Green, then Barney has a good case for taking Bisto FC to court.

When Hughie Green tried to buy Rangers with his laughable CVA proposal, Duff and Phelps signed an agreement that, if the CVA proposal failed, they would sell the assets to Sevco 5088. The legality of such an agreement is questionable but what happened afterwards is tantamount to fraud. The assets were actually sold to a company called Sevco Scotland, which Green claimed was different from Sevco 5088. On the sale documents Duff and Phelps claimed that their agreement was with 'Sevco' as if both Sevco 5088 and Sevco Scotland were one and the same company.

If, in fact, they were the same company then that means that Barney Google is still involved at Ibrox. If they were different companies, then the transaction was fraudulent. If the agreement with Sevco 5088 was not being honoured, for whatever reason, then the assets should have been sold to the highest bidder, either together or separately. It should have been up to the liquidators how the assets were disposed of and their sale was way outside the remit of Duff and Phelps.

The signature on the Sevco 5088 document, therefore, is of paramount importance. It means that either Barney Google is still a shareholder at Bisto FC or that the company in which he was a partner was defrauded. Of course, if the signature is a forgery then the whole thing is a load of Craig Whyte and Barney doesn't have a leg to stand on. So what do you think?



The signature at the top is Green's genuine signature. I don't know about you, but they look the same to me. The handwriting expert's concentration on a couple of tiny loops in the bottom signature is, to my mind, a red herring. Everybody's signature looks slightly different at different times and, as one of the brainless Bisto Kids pointed out, can even be affected by the type of pen you are using. This looks like desperation on the part of Bisto FC to try to get Barney Google out of the picture.

Of course, many of the Bisto Kids are shouting conspiracy. It's all the doing of Peter Lawwell, apparently. Everybody's out to get 'Rainjurz' by fair means or foul and this is just another in a long line of crimes committed against them. Everything that has happened at Ibrox has been orchestrated, due to envy of the 'most successful club in the world.' They really do honestly believe this!

Auld Merlin has his own take on this 'Big Conspiracy.' According to him, 'Rainjurz' has always been a bastion of Unionism in Scotland. The current crises have been orchestrated by supporters of Scottish independence, to try to offset the Ibrox hordes standing steadfastly against them. Of course, to him and his entourage, the whole purpose of Scottish independence is to set up a republic and then the leaders will go on all fours to the Vatican to hand the country over to the Pope! As conspiracy theories go, that one definitely takes the biscuit; an empire biscuit, of course!

Speaking of empires, the jingoistic Bisto Kids are still banging on about poppies. Their big argument is that 'those heroes died so that you can have the freedom not to wear a poppy' so you should wear one to show respect! This rhetorical tautology just shows the mentality of The Peeppil. In essence, you've to wear a poppy whether you want to or not because it represents the sacrifice of people that died to give you the freedom to decide whether or not to wear one! Try working that one out! Where's Bertrand Russell when you need him?

Meanwhile the news that the police are being investigated in Amsterdam for possibly instigating the fighting over there has not gone down too well with the Bisto Kids. The news was first broadcast on STV so that television channel has now been put on 'Ze List' as another enemy to be dealt with in the fullness of time. By God, that's becoming a big, big list and it looks like most of the population is going to have to watch what they're getting through the post!

Lastly, it seems that Ibrox is haunted. Paul Murray says that it's "a place where fear and confusion lurks in the dark shadows round every corner." Of course, if Barney Google is still around, he's the last person you'd want to meet round a dark corner. Either that or somebody's been unchaining Ian Black at night!




Craig Whyte spreads fear and confusion in the dark shadows.

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