SOMERTIME BLUES

Mr Blobby, the new chairman at Bisto FC, says that he's going to take Bisto "back to the very top of Scottish football where they belong”. That's original. Green said it, Mr Dignity said it, Mather said it and the Krays said it as well. The Requisitioners said it and even Auld Pishy said it, in among his racist polemic. The fact that Bisto FC has never been anywhere near the top of Scottish football seems to have escaped their notice. He also mentions “This 141-year-old institution". That's funny, I thought Davie Weir was long gone!

 The Daily Record, in its unswerving support for the Requisitioners, tries to prove some kind of connection between Mr Blobby, Charles Green and even Craig Whyte. It was all a bit desperate to say the least. Apparently Mr Blobby invested in some company that was run by somebody that invested in another company that owned another company that Craig Whyte was connected with. Or something like that, anyway. My dad has always banked with the TSB, now Lloyds-TSB and my wife used to work for them so, given the logic of the DR, I've got links with the dead club that was Rangers. To be honest, the guy looks and sounds enough of an arse without looking for spurious connections!

Sooperally has said that he is going to be meeting with Mr Blobby to discuss 'future plans.' That'll be the same 'future plans' he discussed with Craig Whyte, Charles Green, Craig Mather and Walter Smith. The last words Sooperally wants to hear are 'future plans,' since if anyone turns up with some proper future plans the certainty is that they won't involve the pie eater. The man that really sent Rangers into administration and whose only managerial tactic is to spend money, just like his mentor, can hardly figure in the plans of anyone with the slightest bit sense.

Meanwhile, the Bisto Kids are pontificating about the misbehaviour of Celtic fans in Amsterdam. With breathtaking hypocrisy they are demanding that Celtic is banned from Europe. The full story hasn't emerged yet but, as far as I can see, something stinks about the whole thing. The usual way of stopping trouble is to have a visible police presence; yet the Amsterdam police saw fit to send undercover officers to mingle with the Ajax hooligans that were attacking Celtic fans! There is a whiff of agents provocateurs about the whole thing.

But what would be the point of stirring up trouble? That's easy. Like everything else, it all comes down to money. After the disgraceful behaviour of Ajax fans, not only at Celtic Park, but on the streets of Glasgow, there is every chance that the club will be hammered by UEFA. Imagine if Ajax were to receive a ban; it would affect not only the club's but the city's economy. Tarring Celtic fans with the same brush might make UEFA go easier on Ajax and even accept any appeal claiming that Ajax fans were provoked in Glasgow. It's not beyond the realms of possibility.

Remember when the whole world witnessed the disgusting scenes in Manchester how the Daily Record reported on it? They toed the Ibrox party line of how Chelsea fans had infiltrated the Rangers support, then it was down to the actions of the police, then it was the fault of the big telly. Finally, when CCTV images were used by Manchester police to catch the culprits, the DR had to admit the truth. Even then they tried to underplay things, claiming, as usual, that it was a 'small minority.'

Contrast this with their headline about the trouble in Amsterdam. 'Battle of Amsterdam' they're calling it! It sounds like they've let Big Jabba back in by the rear door.

The new chairman awaits the arrival of Sooperally