WHO ARE EU KIDDING?

The mind of a Bisto Kid is a strange thing. They've got so used to the doublethink about club and company that they make statements that contradict each other completely but don't see anything wrong whatsoever. A prime example is McMurdo's, admittedly deserved, ridiculing of the Requisitioners. The latter claimed in the newspapers that Brian Stockbridge, the budding Steven Spielberg, was being investigated by the Serious Fraud Office. As it turned out, however, somebody had reported Stockbridge to the SFO. As McMurdo pointed out:

"There is a world of difference between reported and being investigated, of course."

Quite right; which makes the statements on McMurdo's site, and elsewhere, about the EU investigating supposed 'financial doping' of Celtic by Glasgow City Council, quite laughable. There is no record of any such investigation taking place either on the EU website or with any other reputable source. Oh, one 'newspaper' has picked it up: an online rag called 'This Is Money.' This organ is owned by what used to be called Associated Press Ltd, which owns the Daily Mail. True to form, this website is concerned with throwing dirt at any and every left-wing cause or organisation it can find. This includes the Co-operative Bank and the Labour Party and Celtic has been dragged into the firing line. Even this scandal sheet, however, stops short of claiming there is an EU investigation.

The truth is that the Bisto Kids are desperate to find something, anything, that they can point a finger about. Knowing, in their heart of hearts, that their old club was involved in cheating and swindling and that their new club is full of gravy-train riders, they are obsessed to the point of psychosis about dragging Celtic down to their own level. Af first only one or two of them peddled this crap but now they are all at it. It's being repeated over and over, which convinces them that it is true. Consequently, they have all been sending e-mails and letters to the EU, saying, 'It's no' fair!' The fact that all these bams are reporting their delusions to the EU, however, does not mean that the EU is taking any notice of them!

"There is a world of difference between reported and being investigated, of course." Remember that!

The Requisitioners had their rally on Thursday night as promised. From the sound of the applause on the Youtube video it seems that there were not too many there. It was basically just a 'greetin' meetin' and achieved nothing at all. They wheeled Nacho Novo out at the end to say, 'Nacho, he support the Requeeseeeetioners!' Couldn't he just have said, 'No'?

Amid all the moaning about Charles Green and Jack Irvine, they found time to have a joke. Some faceless ned stood up and made a pathetic quip about Celtic 'being behind their boys.' Cue the laughter from the bigots, including the ones at the table. At first I thought Gordon Smith was going to abstain on the grounds of good taste but, of course, he allowed himself a little snigger as well. After all the ridiculous furore about Peter Lawell's joke I hope our media are going to make as big a fuss about this. I'm not going to hold my breath, though!

A bigot that regularly posts on McMurdo's website was on yesterday with his usual anti-Catholic, anti-Irish, anti-Celtic slabbers. In among all this he compares the media treatment of Ian Black with that of James Forrest. I think the Bisto Kids would be better not to make too much noise about Black. Have you seen all the stuff about match fixing in England? Apparently it's been going on in Scotland as well. Anyone investigating such matters would be bound to go straight to somebody that is known for betting against his own team. I think that's a bit more serious than forgetting to zip up your flies after a pee!

Auld Pishy, meanwhile, is going on about warchests. He bangs on about Hughie Green's promise of £25 million being available to Sooperally when Bisto FC get to play in the big boys' playground. "Where is it?" he cries. Of course, we all know where it went. Chateaux in the South of France don't pay for themselves, you know! And have you seen the size of the fat bastards making the chairs in the boardroom groan in protest? The upkeep of those stomachs must cost a fortune. And we haven't even started on Sooperally's £800,000-odd annual Greggs bill.

Still, Pishy should console himself with the news that Bisto is not going to need this warchest. Hasn't he heard about the EU investigation? Apparently, Celtic won't even be there when Bisto get up to the top tier!

Barry Ferguson EBT, spouts his usual pish in the Daily Record. "Rainjurz urnae deid...blah blah...Ah pyoor luvd the Auld Firm gemmes, so Ah did...blah blah...Scottish fitba needs Rainjurz...blah blah..." He also claims that Celtic are scared of 'Rainjurz'. Scared of what? A new team that looks as if it might not be around this time next year? Aye, that's right, Barry, everybody's shittin' themselves just thinking about them! I think he must be drinking the same stuff as Pishy!

Finally, I see that Max Clifford's trial takes place in March. He pleaded not guilty at the beginning of October, protesting his innocence outside the court. Isn't that what Stuart Hall and Ian Watkins said as well? Still, innocent until proven guilty and all that. I'll be paying close attention to this case since Clifford's friend seems to think it is okay to accuse all and sundry at Celtic Park for covering up the crimes Clifford is accused of.

BMK?

"Nacho no like Meeesta Coistee no more. He not geeve Nacho job. Nacho wanted hees share of the graveee! Nacho blame the board. They bastardos! Nacho pay them back beeeeeg time!"