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Thursday 24 April 2014

WHY ARE WE WAITING...

And so, everyone waits with bated breath. What will Mr Blobby's 120-day review tell The Peeppil? I think they, and everybody else already know: Bisto FC is skint. The Gravy Train is going to be stopped, unless they get rid of the excess baggage. Even then, Honest Dave and his hole-in-the-wall gang are ready to try and take it over. No matter what, Sooperally is not going to get a war chest and the Fat Penalty Taker will either stay at Kilmarnock or go to Gorgie.

Quite why it needed 120 days to sort through this mess is a mystery. Surely it should only take a few hours at Regulo 5 to get the books done? Probably, though, it's like when somebody is going to get their house repossessed; instead of putting it on the market they'll hang on and hang on, hoping for some miracle to arrive. Mr Blobby no doubt had the same thoughts. They've probably spent any budget they had during those 120 days on lottery tickets and scratchcards, praying that things might change before the bad news had to be broken.

Sooperally is still banging on about budgets to buy players. It just shows how out of touch the guy is, or maybe he's been told to keep things positive until the season books have been sold. Some mugs are still taking what he says at face value. Colin Stein is in the Daily Record today begging Boyd to come back to Ibrox, as if they'll be able to afford him. They'll have a fight on their hands anyway; it seems all the big clubs are after him. There's Bisto and then there's...er...Hearts. It must be heartening for the Fat Penalty Taker to know that the two most skint clubs in Scotland are after his signature!

Sandy Easdale, the one that's on the football board, not the company board, (though why a club that's not a company but run by a holding company requires a board is a mystery - but we won't go into that again!) spoke to BBC Scotland today (I thought they didn't speak to them) essentially saying, "Wur fucked! Yez need tae buy they season books now!" It looks, though, as if the majority is buying nothing until they see this review. Even then they might run a mile.

Easdale also says, "I would say that in 140 years, the club's gone into administration once; I don't think it would survive a second one." Oh no! Here we go again. So the club went into administration? So what was it that went into liquidation? (Oops! We're not supposed to mention the 'L' word) Anyway, as I said earlier, we won't go into all that again. Suffice it to say that things are not looking too great. Hopefully Ibrox is well insured, just like that state-of-the-art team bus, if you know what I mean!

I found a wee article tucked away in a corner of the DR website, where Stewart Regan is asked about the situation at Bisto FC. In a rare moment of actual journalism, Regan was asked if Bisto had submitted the annual accounts, which are needed for secural of their licence. Regan's answer was, “I am not aware of that situation at the moment, so can’t comment on it” That'll be a 'no' then. Regan also said that he'd had no recent communications with Rangers. A new Ouija board might be the answer there, Stu!

Bisto has also appointed a new PR guy, one Paul Tyrrell. This character has a reputation for being confrontational, which doesn't bode well as far as Mr Blobby's review is concerned. Tyrrell is more 'truculent bam' than 'succulent lamb,' so obviously the Bisto Board is getting ready for a square go.

Meanwhile, the situation for the Better Togetherers is getting desperate. They've wheeled out Gordon Brown to argue a 'positive' case for the Union. Unfortunately this just descended into the usual scare stories about benefits, pensions and not being able to watch the BBC. It's also a bit of an own-goal as many of us still remember the filthy, racist slurs against Brown, during the last election, in the very newspapers that are trying to now persuade us to vote 'No'.

McMurdo is just as desperate as he sees his 'Biblical Kingdom' about to disintegrate. So what is the big attraction of keeping the Union as far as he is concerned? Well, first off, there's the stuff about the Queen being descended from King David. But what difference will that make? She'd still be Queen of Scotland. Ah, but the SNP is determined to turn this into a...gasp...republic! There is no other adjective more guaranteed to strike terror into your average Orangeman, than republican! So that's him preached to the converted; what about the rest of us?

Well, it seems that somebody heard from somebody that heard from somebody that overheard an SNP member say that they would be getting rid of denominational schools in an independent Scotland. Well, I don't know about you, but that's me convinced. A 'No' vote it is then! Now what the hell's a pig doing perched on that tree branch?





In a desperate bid to raise more funds, Sandy Easdale takes over John McCririck's old job on Channel 4 Racing.

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