Just when you think the Ibrox saga is getting boring and it's time to go looking for a different source of entertainment, they add a couple of new twists to let you know it's still the best comedy show out there. Remember last week Kenny 'Two Coats' Miller telling us how there wasn't really that much of a gulf between Celtic and Bisto FC? I wonder if he'd still have the gall to say that after Sunday's performance! My God, but they're shite! The Championship beckons for next season, methinks! Still, at least they'll get another go at the Challenge Cup, a trophy that Celtic will never win. Aye, they're coming down the road!
The board now has to find a new venue for the EGM since the hotel they were going to use in London has cancelled. Apparently staff are scared that there might be 'disruption' to other guests. Now there's a euphemism if ever I saw one! They've probably already received all manner of death threats and don't want to take any chances of another Manchester. Either that or they've seen the puss on Halloween Houston and decided that they don't want to be the setting for one of those found-footage horror films. The board is now seeking another venue, but word will soon get round and they'll be lucky to find anywhere willing to take the chance. I heard they approached London Zoo but concerns were raised about tourists thinking The Peeppul were part of the exhibits.
The Bisto Board has decided to blame the Daily Record for everything and banned them from Ibrox. Halloween Houston opines, "The thought of a ban is despicable in what is supposed to be a free country with freedom of speech." Isn't it funny how they come over all 'Charlie Hebdo' when it suits them? I don't remember any shouting about 'freedom of speech' when the BBC was banned because somebody pointed out the truth about it being a new club playing out of Ibrox. It's still the case that anybody in the media that has the nerve to tell the truth will be banned if they're lucky; more likely they'll be inundated with death threats. To The Peeppul 'freedom of speech' means sticking to the Big Lie and singing about being up to their knees in somebody's blood.
The Daily Record gets in on the comedy with the editor, Murray Foote, saying, "We're disappointed by this ban but will continue our robust, fair and accurate reporting of Rangers." Really? So when are you going to admit that Rangers are dead? Meanwhile Keith 'Off The Radar' Jackson glibly tells us all how great he is and what a wonderful job he's been doing reporting the truth about 'Rangers'. Learned well the young padawan has from his master, Jabba, about lying through his teeth while expecting the rest of us not to be able to remember the shite he came out with before.
"Yes, to this day we are reminded of the banner ‘billionaire’ headlines with which Whyte was first announced onto the scene, some five months before he finally took control in May of 2011. And that’s no bad thing. In fact, we remind ourselves of them on a daily basis and hold them up as embarrassment this paper must never repeat."
I must have missed that one. Not once has Jackson ever admitted responsibility for that. In fact, he's gone out of his way to blame everybody else for building up Whyte.
"Throughout it all, this newspaper has – without fear or favour – consistently exposed what has really being going on behind those old famous front doors when other newspapers have often found it easier to turn a blind eye."
Eh? You mean like Jabba sending articles to Whyte for his approval? Like Jabba suddenly buying into the Big Lie when there was a nice sinecure in it for him? Or do you mean the way you accuse those on the board of being spivs and crooks while covering up for a convicted criminal just because he's a 'Real Rangers Man'?
"That is why, long before Whyte’s buy-out was completed, Record Sport was warning of potential turmoil ahead if the deal was indeed completed. It’s why, less than two months after he was in power, we first wrote about the mortgaging of season tickets which was financing his regime. We were banned for that one, too."
Surely you don't think we're stupid enough to believe this shite, Mr Jackson! For months during 2011 there were rumours that Jabba was 'sitting' on a story about Whyte. Why was he 'sitting' on it? Was he waiting to see if Whyte was going to offer him a job? And, in reality, it was those pesky 'Internet Bampots' that told everybody the truth about Whyte. By the time you and your paper got in on the act the story was history!
Come on, Mr Jackson, tell the truth and shame the devil and Big Jabba! Rangers died and now we've got two sides fighting over the scraps. You and your paper have decided to take sides with the 'Real Rangers Men' and everything you're printing these days is just to serve them. The Daily Record gave up on the truth decades ago over a lamb dinner and you're still ploughing the same, pathetic furrow. And, speaking of Jabba, does he still have some kind of influence at the Record? After all, you regurgitate everything that comes out of Level 5 as if it's Gospel. Why don't you grow a pair, Mr Jackson, break away from Jabba's apron strings and prove that there's more than one brain cell crawling about inside that skull of yours?
Meanwhile, Stewart Regan has more or less given a licence to sing to anybody that wants to belt out banned songs; so long as there are enough folk singing. He made it plain on Twitter that nothing whatsoever will be done about the 'Up tae wur knees' brigade because there were too many of them. In effect he's admitting that Celtic supporters that sing about the IRA etc. are in a minority. I wonder what would happen if somebody at a Celtic match handed round the words to 'Roll of Honour' and got everybody to join in. We'd soon see if Regan still feels the same way when it's not The Peeppul involved! But then again, it'll never happen. The majority of Celtic supporters are more interested in their team and only want to sing the Celtic Song and the like. I suppose, in a roundabout way, Regan has confirmed that this is the case.
Right, come on. The sales are still poor. Get your hands in your pockets and get the book here.